Tag Archive for 'bigR'

hairy coffee

Published
by
iAN
on April 16, 2008
in general musings
. 3 Comments

I’ve spent the last few weeks weening myself off a long-held coffee habit.  I started by cutting down to three cups a day (note I refer to a “cup” as one 16-ounce mug); one on the way into work, one after PT with breakfast, and one at home before bed.  I then cut out the nightcap.

Shortly thereafter, I ditched the cup on the way into work.  This was right about the time I changed jobs and the Volvo died.  I started getting a ride to work, and now have time for a one hour nap when I get in.  Sixteen ounces of coffee in one’s belly does little to benefit nap time.

This left me with just one cup for the day - the breakfast cup.  For some reason, despite having access to a fresh pot in the office, I only made two pots in two days.  I sipped on a few Monster Java drinks for about a week, and now those have disappeared from my diet as well.

So here I am, three weeks later, no caffeine in my system.  (I’ll occasionally snag a Mt. Dew on the way home from work, but I find it difficult to finish even one bottle.)

I know this is a very boring subject, but for those who have known my drinking habits in the past, to know a me without coffee or Mt. Dew is a nearly preposterous notion.  All of this is just a roundabout lead-in to the real subject, anyway: the hairy coffee.

Remember that second pot of coffee I mentioned three paragraphs up?  Turns out it’s still there.  Nobody ever emptied it.  So when I decided I really did feel like a hot cup of joe this morning, I was greeted with a fuzzy, furry, hairy mound of mold on not only the grounds, but in the pot, as well.  Just floating around atop the coffee, like a burgeoning little pond.

As bigR would say, that’s resgusting.

a better deal

Published
by
iAN
on April 1, 2008
in general musings
. 2 Comments

Last night was pretty good.  I had determined to keep my anger in check and make it good.  While I often contend I don’t have any control over my anger, that’s just a cop-out and an easy way to stay grouchy and avoid doing anything.  In truth I’m really not that weak - at least I hope not.

bigR’s attitude wasn’t quite as bad as it has been lately, and I guess mine wasn’t either (coincidence or cause &  effect?).  I’d spent most of the weekend in an awful mood for no reason at all, and the whole family was more than a little annoyed with me.  Yesterday I was feeling pretty good, though.  Maybe it was the previous night’s maritals or perhaps the thinly-veiled compliments the urologist gave me earlier in the day that had me in a better mood - doesn’t much matter.

Outside play session ended smoothly as dinner time arrived.  (When I came home, bigR’s hair was in a “spike” that would be more appropriately described as a “pig tail”.  I love how macho, tough guy, check out my muscles he is while at the same time caring for his daffodils and playing with Barbie.  He’s so rad when he’s in a good mood.

Dinner was good, temporary tattoo was excellent, bath time was tolerable.  Sleepy Wife laid down with littleR (getting so big!) and bigR and I just kinda chilled out in the living room, coloring some animals in his new coloring book.

Once bed time came around, he went without a fuss.  His only complaint was mama and sister asleep in his bed.  Lucky him, he gets to sleep with daddy!  On a side note, littleR has definitely grown tired of her crib.  I think it’s time to disassemble the bunk bed and give her her own big girl bed :]

Ok, fast forward a few hours to this morning.

The alarm sounded promptly at 4 AM, and I awoke to find bigR all sprawled out on his back - on top of me.  I’m not sure how he managed it without me waking up, but he was full on using me as his bed.  It was so silly and I really really really didn’t want to get up.

I’m hoping I can maintain control of my emotions long enough to have two good days in a row - send me some positive energy!  Now!

angry boy

Published
by
iAN
on March 31, 2008
in general musings
. 0 Comments

Observant Wife says:

Dude, bigR sounds just like you when he’s irritated or mad. Same tone of voice and everything. It’s so crazy to see them take on our character traits.

I suppose I should stop canceling my therapy appointments and make an actual attempt to deal with my anger issues?

the origin of anger

Published
by
iAN
on March 30, 2008
in general musings
. 2 Comments

I’ve commented before on the back and forth bigR and I often have. Our tempers feed off each other and we both get progressively shorter with each other. He gets over it in ten seconds, while it usually takes me a bit longer.

I got to wondering today if our relationship was remarkable. I thought about my relationship with my own father, years ago, and the bits and pieces I know of other people and their fathers. Ten times out of ten, people remember being afraid of their father growing up, or at least the thought of “what your father will do!” when he comes home.

So what?  Am I off the hook?  Is my temper a natural part of being a father, head-achy, tired and cranky?

Even as I write this with headphones on, grooving to Morphine, every sound I hear behind me, I look, hoping to see the little dude up from his nap so I can hug and kiss him and tell him how much I love him.

I think this is why I’d decided to stop writing like this - my head just spirals, my words lack cohesion, and it makes for a less than interesting read.  Then I just get frustrated that I can’t express myself.

snapping, but not like a turtle

Published
by
tdp
on March 21, 2008
in the daddy project
. 0 Comments

There’s a very destructive cycle that wraps around my relationship with bigR. I have obvious and serious anger issues, and often (OK always) snap far too quickly when the little dude is not acting quite right. Trouble is, he snaps just as quickly, which causes me to snap even quicker, which causes him to — see how obvious?

He’s three, he’s temperamental, I understand that. I’m thirty, I’m cranky, I understand that, as well. But that should place me with the advantage, right? I know I’m anger prone and short-tempered, and I understand his stage in life. bigR just knows I’m daddy, and everything I do, he does.

It’s just too bad he’s such an attentive observer and an uncanny imitator.

// This post can also be seen on theDaddyProject.

headaches, medication, anger, etc.

Published
by
tdp
on March 11, 2008
in general musings and the daddy project
. 1 Comment

Today’s been rough. Steadily worse. A battle to control my anger, as my fuse burns shorter and shorter. I’m almost too tense to write - it’s amazing how distracting such frustration can be.

So what’s got me upset? The usual. Noise, headaches, sinus trouble, bigR’s attitude, littleR’s perfectly-pitched cries, work. You’d think after all this time I’d have learned to deal with it all and just relax, but I can’t. The worst of it is, after wrangling a free day off work for my nonsectomy, I slept for eleven hours last night. That’s like, unheard of. Seems the longer I sleep the worse I wake up feeling. That’s not right.

I should be on my way to the airport to pick up my mother right now, but her flight is having numerous problems, which is unsurprising. She is flying out here on a free ticket she received for her last flight having problems. Looks to be no different this time around. So, if you’d like to purchase just one ticket to Hawaii, then receive a free ticket every time you want to come back, fly ATA. This seems to be their standard practice.

Let’s get back to this headache; this thing will just NOT go away. As you may know I was recently prescribed Tramadol
for my migraines. So far we are swinging 0 for 2 on its effectiveness. After giving up on the drugs for the day, I turned to my Anti-Drug: alcohol. Guinness #1 went down nice and smooth with dinner; #2 is even better as I write this.

Here’s hoping for a better tomorrow.

// This post can also be seen on theDaddyProject.org

on children

Published
by
iAN
on December 30, 2007
in general musings
. 0 Comments

To anyone whose primary source of information about me and my life is this weblog, I must seem an awful tit. I’m constantly bitching about work, daydreaming into the future, and fretting over the behavior of my kids. Honestly this isn’t the whole story. True, I have found myself a much more temperamental person since returning from Iraq, and I frequently find plenty to [legitimately?] complain about, but that negativity does not own me.

And my kids are amazing.

Mr. R is just about the most creative and imaginative little dude I have ever known.  He is so smart, and picks up on everything.  He corrects himself when he knows he’s said or done something wrong, and makes an effort to teach his baby sister all the things he knows (when he’s not busy beating her, that is).  And he has the best taste in music of any three year old I know (They Might Be Giants, Sufjan Stevens, Rick Moranis …), and even knows most of the words!

Ms. R is absolutely beautiful.  She’s tough, spry, and so ready to walk!  Her record so far is four steps, and I think she only stopped because she got so excited she fell over!

Mr. E is on the honor roll for like the hundredth time in a row, and has been his little league team’s starting pitcher for a season and a half.  I burned him some CDs a few years ago, and he told me on Christmas that he’d found them in his closet, and had been listening to them for the last week or so.  Modest Mouse, the Shins, Morphine - he rivals Mr. R for best taste in music :]  He’s grown up so fast, and it saddens me to know it will still be some time before I see him again.  Maybe we’ll get lucky and get stationed on the east coast next tour so we can be closer to him.

There’s so much more to say about these kids and my wonderful wife, I just don’t often have the time.  I wake at 4 to be out the door by 4:30 to beat the traffic and be to work by 5:30 to stand around until 6:30 for PT formation, then return at 9:00 to “start” the work day.  By the time I head home, it doesn’t matter what time it is, I’m exhausted.  Humans are not supposed to wake up so early, period.

Nobody wants excuses, though, so I’ll just keep on doing what I can to write when I can.

plants need love too

Published
by
iAN
on December 30, 2007
in general musings and photos
. 0 Comments

While not the first time Mr-R has painted on his new easel, this was the first time little sister was invited to join in the fun. And what fun it was!

DSC_0365

Check out the whole set here.

quantity time

Published
by
iAN
on November 25, 2007
in general musings
. 0 Comments

I’ve never been a big believer in “quality time” being more important than quantity time.  There’s just no substitute for lots of time with your children.  While the last three days Tracy and River spent cooped up in hotel and hospital rooms certainly was sad for them, I must say Raden and I have bonded so well, just hangin’ out together.  It’s an awesome, awesome feeling, and we are really good together :]

 Obviously tons more to say, but the time is not yet.  More to come, eventually.

take me home with you, please?

Published
by
iAN
on November 14, 2007
in photos
. 0 Comments

take me home with you, please?

Originally uploaded by iAMiAN_


I mean just *look* how cute I am!