Tag Archive for 'army'

a helping smile

Bothersome procedure finally at bay, I found myself in possession of a prescription for citalopram - Celexa, for the untrained.  It has been found effective for countless other Veterans who ache as I do, who worry as I do, who suffer as I do.  I would be the next guinea pig.

Twenty two stairs and one hundred fourteen paces separated my prescription and the pharmacy, and I covered the ground swiftly, but pensively.  The waiting area was strangely vacant, and when I pushed the square green button for my window ticket, I saw I was next in line.

After only two minutes, a voice, both robotic and feminine, announced “Now serving number A-1-2-4, at window number two.”  I approached the window, and was pleased to see a familiar face.  The woman who asked for my identification had done so many times over the last several months.  Though she is familiar to me, I am surely unknown to her; to her I am simply known as Last Name, Last Four.

After entering my information and looking over my prescription history, she admonished me not to take tramadol and citalopram together.  I nodded in silent understanding.  She asked if I would like a print-out of my new drug’s side effects.  I nodded again, and said I would.

As the woman turned to retrieve my medication, I looked her over, and considered her once again.  She is quite an attractive woman.  Short, fit, long straight hair with aged but striking features.  Not overly polite, but certainly not impolite, which is a rarity in the world of military medical care.  She did her job quickly, quietly, and efficiently.

Just as my thoughts began to drift elsewhere, she returned with my information sheets and medication, asked if I had any questions, and wished me a good day.

As I left the pharmacy, I looked over the label, noting the drug name “citalopram” and the designer name “Celexa”.  Twenty milligrams, thirty tablets, to be taken by mouth, once per day.  Above my name, in blue pen, perched a smiley face.  This struck me as odd, but upon imagining its origin, I began to feel better.  Not jumping for joy better, mind you, just, a bit better.  I wondered if every prescription issued by this woman bore the familiar symbol of good cheer.  I wondered if such an act might be an attempt to stand out from her peers, either for herself or for her Quality of Service rating on customer satisfaction surveys.

But then I allowed myself to feel special, if only just a bit.  I imagined she offered this small gesture only to me; an acknowledgement of the gruff and droopy-eyed Soldier who stood before her, seeking anti-depressants.  This raised my spirits, and I covered the remaining distance to work already feeling the effects of the medication I had not yet taken.

Were it not for that smiley face, for those two short, straight vertical strokes, underscored by one longer, horizontally curved stroke, I would not have thought anything of the small, plastic container in my hand.  I certainly would not have thought enough of it to write such an exhaustive and unnecessarily detailed recount of the procurement of that container.

As it was, in that space, if for just a few moments, I felt OK.  I had my medication, and it was smiling at me.

how my shoes came to be locked in the kitchen

Most mornings I do PT.   Most PT sessions I sweat.  After sweating, I usually shower.  After showering, I hang my clothes up in my locker - where they remain, wet, and growing funkier by the hour.

The total lack of air circulation in the locker room is just one wave amid a sea of examples of how shoddy Government construction can be when you’re relying on the lowest bidder.

At any rate, locker room aside, the most secluded room that provided a viable alternative was the kitchen.  It’s a room with a fan that never turns off, windows that never get closed, and a sink that has never seen running water.  It is, for all intents and purposes, a brand new and wholly abandoned kitchen.

So now when I have finished sweating and have cleaned myself, I take my damp clothes and towel and hang them up in the kitchen.  Bummer for me someone decided to lock the kitchen door the other day.  I had to go to Staff Duty and explain to them why I needed it unlocked - they were confused, but hey, it’s the Infantry, we’re always confused about something.

unmedicated

August 5th, 2006: I am pretty happy with life in general.

August 6th, 2006: Upset to be leaving to Iraq for a year, but sure the trek will make me stronger, better.

August 6th, 2007: 365 days in Iraq; nearly 60 days to go - my confidence wanes.  I am unhappy.

September 26th, 2007: My feet are back on the ground in Hawaii, and I am happy to be home.

April 22nd, 2008: After dealing with serious emotional issues for several months, I succumb to the reality I may need medication.

April 23rd, 2008: I visit the Soldier Assistance Center and ask to see my provider to discuss medication options.  I am told walk-in hours are at 7:30 AM. Won’t you please come back tomorrow?

April 24th, 2008: It is 7:15 AM and I wait for the doors to open.  They do, and I am told all questions regarding medication must be addressed in their daily walk-in medication briefings, held at 1:30 PM.  Won’t you please come back this afternoon?

April 28th, 2008: Unable to return for Thursday’s walk-in, and again unable to enjoy the weekend, I take time out of my day off to travel to work and attend the medication briefing.  I am told those briefings are held at 10:30 AM on Mondays. Won’t you please come back tomorrow?

Tomorrow I have a dental appointment at 10:30, and bigR’s soccer practice at 5.  It is highly unlikely I will be given the liberty to disappear from work three times in one day.  Won’t you please try again Wednesday?

At this point I am certain I would have more success seeking “medication” from random strangers on the streets of Wahiawa.

sgt6pk - in my own words

In response to Chris’ comment on the previous post, regarding a six pack of abs vs. a six pack of beer:

I wondered this, myself, as I pictured two men standing next to each other in line at the DMV, each of them writing a cheque to cover the additional $25 for the privilege of personalization.

The man on the right, his muscular torso wrapped in ACU tan Under Armor, writes deliberately, legibly, and pens the words “custom plates” in the memo field. His purposefully snug shirt outlines each curve of his shoulders, chest, and abs. He signs the cheque and straightens his hair.

The man on the left is draped in a greasy, tattered t-shirt, three sizes too large. You can see stains under his arms, sweat across his chest, and patches of his stomach through the holes in his shirt, which proudly proclaims his allegiance to The King of Beers. His hair is a wreck, and with a borrowed pen he scrawls the words “gay sex” in the memo field, in the naive hopes the Hawaii State Department of Motor Vehicles will be too embarrassed to cash the note.

“That’s a fuckin’ pretty tight shirt, there, bra” said the man on the left.

“I like to give the ladies a little eye candy, you know what I mean? Let ‘em get a taste of Sergeant Six-Pack” responded the man on the right.

“My kids call me Sergeant Six-Pack”, said the man on the left, “but I don’t think it’s because of my shirt.”

“I think maybe it is.”

Silence.

hairy coffee

I’ve spent the last few weeks weening myself off a long-held coffee habit.  I started by cutting down to three cups a day (note I refer to a “cup” as one 16-ounce mug); one on the way into work, one after PT with breakfast, and one at home before bed.  I then cut out the nightcap.

Shortly thereafter, I ditched the cup on the way into work.  This was right about the time I changed jobs and the Volvo died.  I started getting a ride to work, and now have time for a one hour nap when I get in.  Sixteen ounces of coffee in one’s belly does little to benefit nap time.

This left me with just one cup for the day - the breakfast cup.  For some reason, despite having access to a fresh pot in the office, I only made two pots in two days.  I sipped on a few Monster Java drinks for about a week, and now those have disappeared from my diet as well.

So here I am, three weeks later, no caffeine in my system.  (I’ll occasionally snag a Mt. Dew on the way home from work, but I find it difficult to finish even one bottle.)

I know this is a very boring subject, but for those who have known my drinking habits in the past, to know a me without coffee or Mt. Dew is a nearly preposterous notion.  All of this is just a roundabout lead-in to the real subject, anyway: the hairy coffee.

Remember that second pot of coffee I mentioned three paragraphs up?  Turns out it’s still there.  Nobody ever emptied it.  So when I decided I really did feel like a hot cup of joe this morning, I was greeted with a fuzzy, furry, hairy mound of mold on not only the grounds, but in the pot, as well.  Just floating around atop the coffee, like a burgeoning little pond.

As bigR would say, that’s resgusting.

so much time, so little music

In the Army world of guarded, monitored and firewalled computers, it’s difficult for a guy to just sit and listen to some music while doing the day’s work (But you’re not working, you’re blogging, you say?  True, but you’re not my boss, so BACK OFF!).

I trudged through attempted installations of my usual top three for media players in a feeble attempt to get something up and running.  MediaMonkey: No-go, must be administrator to install.  iTunes: Yeah, right, just TRY and install iTunes on a Government computer.  Winamp: Yes!  Holy crap it worked - for three days.  And then, the following friendly message:

The “problem” with Winamp was not necessarily playing music files, but its submission of played tracks to Last.FM - WHAT IS THIS NETWORK TRAFFIC THIS IS NOT ARMY CANCEL CANCEL DIE DIE DIE!

Determined to continue rocking out, I tried a few other tricks, to no avail.  Apparently government computer + music = violation.  Period.  Here’s the kicker, though.  I can’t listen to music locally, but I can stream music from Yahoo!’s LAUNCHcast.  And here’s the real kicker: I can’t listen to truly excellent streaming sites like Pandora or Jango; both are blocked by our firewall.  So that’s it.  Yahoo! music.  And Yahoo! seems to think since I like bands like Morphine, Sufjan Stevens, and the Pixies, I must also want to enjoy P.O.D. and Clay Aiken and … ugh.  Absolutely terrible suggestion engine.  (Mental note, maybe Joel can do something about this!)

I may just revert to the trusty old iPod and portable speaker solution.  Honestly, do I really want Army to know how much I listen to Pat Benetar?

life on the outside

I’ve gotten some pretty awesome Tweets from a few friends recently that have left me longing for life on the outside. By that, of course, I simply mean life outside of the military.  Lounging on the back porch after work; travel to Manhattan; fishing in northern Michigan - all of it just seems so foreign to me.  I question my loyalty to the military when I look at my daily schedule of up at 4, home by 6 - maybe.

I know if I abandoned this life and moved back home, I’d easily be able to land a job on base, working ten hour days (PAID overtime as needed), and could enjoy every other Friday off (or potentially EVERY Friday - I’m looking at you, Mr. F!).

I can honestly say I’ve been there, done that, fought for Truth and Justice and served my fellow Men.  Now I wonder if I can keep this up for the next fifteen years; I’ve survived the last five, but only just.

I know the grass is greener in everyone’s lawn but mine, but honestly, Army has taken away so much of my time, so much of my life, so much of me.  In October I stand ready to lose another year, shipping off to Iraq once again.  I have learned a lot about myself these last two years - more than I could have any other way - and that’s awesome.  But maybe that lesson has been learned and it’s time to call it quits and get back to a normal life; a life where I actually have more than two hours a day to spend with my family before I collapse in exhaustion.

no longer alone

Two officers have finally straggled in, but I’m not turning down Queen!

I’m burning through the skies, Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That’s why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I’m trav’ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic woman of you!

I like this.  I think I’ll close every post with lyrics.

alone in the office

Let’s see, the officers are all still … somewhere, doing “Officer PT”.  My boss is out getting his vehicle safety inspection, then spending some time at the DMV.  The other two Master Sergeants are out of the office all day, doing whatever it is you do when you’re a Master Sergeant about to PCS and have no job until you clear.  All the NCO’s in the office next door are either in class or at medical appointments.

This leaves me.

And only me.

The only other guy in the office just left to “do some shit with that ammo”.  I hope that goes well for him.

So … I guess I can turn the music up!

I didn’t know where to shake my butt
Walked backwards, fucked like a fox
I was more fucked up than your sister’s tackle box
Three AM at 5 o’clock

… what the hell am I listening to?

the post wherein the author begins to travel the road to vasectomy part ii

Most of this has already come out in Tweets, but here’s the rundown on my latest vasectical news:

March 3rd: Initial vasectomy consult / Q&A with Family Practice
March 10th: Vasectomy not performed at Family Practice, consult placed for Urology clinic
March 31st: Initial consult with Urology clinic (this was when the Doc told me I had “thick scrotal skin” and “large testicular cord muscles”
April 24th: Vasectomy “class” - attendance required for performance of procedure
April 28th: Assuming I pass my “class”, today I can schedule the procedure
May/June ??th: Second attempt to isolate my vas deferens amid the forest of testicular muscles

Quick poll; should I include some sort of title code or category assignment for posts dealing with my privates? (No answer required. I just polled myself, and you have decided against such a notification system.)