On a long weekend made null by 24-hour duty on Saturday, the family had no choice but to get up and out of the house on Friday. Our goal of continuing to fulfill our resolution of exploring somewhere new once a week demanded it. This time around: Waimea Valley Audubon Society, leading to the Waimea Falls.
Though an hour’s drive door to door, the trek up to Waimea is pleasant enough, with a nice stretch of beach along with plenty of surfing tourists just as you near the destination. Even if you are unsure of exactly where you’re supposed to go, just wait until you spy Waimea Bay, the beach that makes first time onlookers swerve into opposing traffic, then make the next right. Parking is ample, though we visited on a military training holiday, not a legitimate holiday. As is Hawaiian tradition, expect to hunt for a spot on the weekend.
First things first, items to bring with you to the Valley: camera (duh - this is Hawaii, dammit!); sunblock; insect repellent (vengeance will be mine, mosquito!); drinking water; snacks (there are a few snack bars in the park, but it never hurts to pack a few granola bars for the walk).
Ok, the car’s unloaded, the kids are strapped in the jogger, and we’re ready to — stop at the snack bar and have lunch. Hungry Wife and I both had the Teriyaki Chicken breast sandwich (they were out of Kalua Pork). The chicken was moist and flavorful, the bun was superior, and the whole thing was made just that much better with the addition of a large hunk of fresh pineapple. bigR had a bahuge hot dog, and … you know what? You don’t get a hot dog review. Our three year old ordered the hot dog - how do you think he enjoyed it? littleR just munched on whatever we put in her beautiful little hands. She had no complaints.
Our first taste of nature’s awesomeness came when Responsible Wife pulled over the high chair and bigR spied a gecko hiding under the seat. We have geckos in and around the house all the time, and bigR loves to try and touch them. The little lizard, already sans tail, must have sensed this impending child-wrought doom, and dove off the high chair on to the deck below. Just as bigR was bending down to poke at the little dude, a chicken darted across the deck and snatched him up in its beak. bigR, stunned, slowly stood up. “Daddy,” he said, cool as Cool Hand Luke, “the shicken eated the geeko. That geeko was MAAAAAAAAAAD!” (Yes, it was as cute as you are picturing.)
While all of this was going on, we were surrounded by a pack of ruffian peacocks and peahens, hovering around trying to steal people’s lunch. Hmph, miscreants! “Aww, look at how pretty my feathers are — BITE BITE STEAL!” Once a peacock decides he wants your food - well, good luck with that saving throw.
Alright, nature’s bitchin’ and we are finished with lunch. Time to roll out … to the toll booth. Prices vary depending on date, age, patriotism, and handsomeness. We managed to get the whole family of four into the park for a mere twelve dollars (hooray for “winter”, military IDs and young, beautiful children!).
The park itself is a respectable maze of both main and side trails, and it is definitely worth your while to come back again and again to explore the grounds completely. The park encompasses over 1,800 acres of land, contains 36 botanical gardens, 78 archaeological sites, and over 6,000 species of rare plants. It is a must to arrive with every intention of stopping to smell the flowers.
That is unless your ultimate destination is the Waimea Falls area at the peak of the trail. Reports and guides indicate a 3.25 mile walk up to the falls, but really it felt more like two miles. Easy walk with a few moderately steep hills, perfect for most any stroller (unless you want to do extensive side path exploration - might wanna bring the baby backpack for that one).
The falls are quite beautiful, and have a look of familiarity about them. You arrive feeling like you’ve been there before. Some have said it’s because of the presence of welcoming spirits of the — nah, I’m bullshitting you. It’s because you’ve seen Kate and Sawyer having poolsex in front of the same falls in season one, episode twelve of Lost. (Also, Nikki and Paulo visited the same location in episode 3×14, but who gives a crap about them? Nobody! That’s why they were buried alive and never mentioned again.)
It is unclear from the signage, but you are invited to swim in the waters, so long as there is a lifeguard present. I can only assume the less-than-gruntled, overweight dude in navy shorts, bright blue shirt and black high-tops was the lifeguard. Or possibly a child molester. Honestly, it was hard to tell.
Once you hit the falls, the only thing left to do is head back down the way you came. For details on that experience, please read this post backward.
So let’s see, in summation:
Address: 59-864 Kamehameha Hwy, Haleiwa, HI
Hours: 10AM to 5:30PM daily (closed Christmas and New Year’s Day)
Admission: $24 per person, $12 for children ages 4 to 12. Kama’aina (and Military) rates are $12 and $6, respectively. Two-for-one special on admission through April 30th.
Bring: camera, sunblock, insect repellent, water and snacks
Once we had looped back around to our start point, a diaper changing for littleR was in order, which gave bigR just enough time to decide he had some business of his own to take care of. “Mommy, go away I have to go twosies.” bigR’s bathroom break gave me and littleR some time to sit and reflect on the proud and colorful peacock perched on the picnic table. littleR stared; I smiled.
Operation Get Away from Me I Have to Go Twosies complete, the family headed to the parking lot, where one last peacock stood showing off for the crowd. bigR knows the rules regarding acceptable behavior around birds, but just like his stubborn daddy, he knows rules are just words, and words can’t prevent him from trying to touch the peacock’s feathers. You know what can prevent a three year old from touching a peacock’s feathers? AN ANGRY, CHARGING PEACOCK! Fortunately, bigR made it off the sidewalk and into the safe zone (forcefield, the asphalt’s lava!) before the big bird could get him. “That peacock was chasin me. He was chasin me! He was MAAAAAAD!” (You have to picture him angrily shaking both fists next to his face to really get the full effect.)
God he’s cute when he’s not being a total shithead.
// This post can also be seen on theDaddyProject.org
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